:toot:

just a quick poke of my head in here to announce that yes, I finally got a new apartment and am still unpacking/settling in/learning the quirks of the place.

But also wanted to post this link about an anthology that I did the cover art for and it's featured significantly in the article.

Things are looking up!

:halloween:

:sketching with light:

I seem to be using my point and shoot camera as a sketchbook of sorts as of late. Here's some random images from the past week.

:el dia de la araña:

Every October a store in Cambridge, MA called Nomad ramps up their inventory of Dia de Los Muertos artwork, and they also bring up an artist from Mexico, Joel Garcia, to create original pieces and to hold workshops for others to create their own. For too many years I kept meaning to go to one of these, I made damn sure I remembered this year. We made spooky spiders:

As ever with me, the trick is to know when to quit. I wanted to add even more to the skull but I think it would've been overkill. I don't have photos of the other spiders but each was uniquely different, which Garcia commented on - in Spanish, he didn't know much English, but that didn't seem to inhibit his instructions to us. It helped that two other participants did know Spanish, while my high school Spanish lets me understand like every fifth word. I fully intend to learn it, some day.

Also related to Dia De Los Muertos, this piece will be on display and for sale at a Day of the Dead-themed show at Uforge Gallery in Jamaica Plain, MA. Actually, the original was sold last year, so this will be a digital print of it. I'm also allowing it to be downloaded for free on deviantArt for this month. Just as a test, I guess, since people don't buy any prints of mine on there, maybe I can see if they're actually even interested.

And Halloween-related as well, Halloween is my Xmas postcards available on Etsy and locally at Fools Mansion in Salem, MA. Why not.
- -
Now that the commercials are over...I've been absent on here, still due to the living situation (which has not improved and I have a concrete deadline now to add stress to it, but despite that there is hope). I found a book titled "Steal Like an Artist." I have to force myself to avoid bookstores, I really can't afford them regularly and have not the space for more, and really, how many books does one actually re-read over and over? Though I do have a few favorites, others remain for sentimental reasons.

I like quite a bit in it, and plan to apply it to my creative life, hopefully enough to update this more regularly. One thing touched upon is that nothing is truly original, something I agonize over even just in my sketchbooks, and I should be drawing and letting it go where it may. Also the idea of copying other's artwork to learn from it. I've never really done that, just created my own artwork, so perhaps that's something to explore.

I also like the idead of not throwing any of yourself away. The author stopped doing music for a time, and felt the "phantom limb" of its absence. I've been a creative amputee for much of this year. And I've heard the advice of focusing on one thing to get best at it, but I have too many interests for that. I want to keep on DJing. I like making the spooky dolls along with taking photographs. All pieces of my puzzling life.

:spooky sale:

Just poking my head in here to note that I'm selling my Halloween cards through Etsy, to see if I can make it work. There's other Halloween stuff I'll get into in a later post.

:crawling from the wreckage:

I made some tentative steps out of my creative doldrums last Sunday, when I returned to the Boston chapter of Dr. Sketchy's Anti-Art School for the first time since, well, the first one. It's quite a new way of figure drawing in case you haven't heard of it. Perhaps there's a branch near you.

Thankfully I have not lost the ability to draw, I didn't really think I would after only a few months, but it definitely shows what has been lacking in my life as of late. I've also tried to do some daily sketching, but I still find I can't do it inside my apartment and have gone outside. Yes, still seeking a new place. At least with the legal help I have now the stupid eviction process seems winnable or at least delayable, but the bottom line is I'm still fighting to stay in a place that I don't want to. People keep leaving the building (how they can find new places and I can't I have no idea, although I'm guessing they have lower standards than me), clueless new people are moving in, no doubt students like too much of the area right now. I am somewhat determined to stay away from Harvard Square until next summer, I swear they get worse each year in their inability to realize what is the street and what is the sidewalk and how to GET OUT OF THE WAY.

Spent most of the summer with the camera, as ever you should check out my flickr or JPG pages.

:status quo:

Just checking in to inform any that still reads this that, no, nothing has improved, in fact it's worse; the slumlord is starting to evict us. The legal help I got this past Sunday and the picketing we did on Saturday give me hope, but it's ironic that I'm fighting for a place I don't even want to stay in. The search goes on, with disappointment the rule more than not. Tired of responding to ads that turn out to be from "west African missionaries" renting out empty apartments, or losing places because I can't flex my schedule to just go and view the place, then get told the next day that the place is rented. Why is this so difficult?!

Needless to say, no art. Most of what I own is in boxes right now, why wait to pack? I still take pictures when something catches my eye. So you should spend more time on my flickr page.

:sabbatical:

It is quite clear to me that this blog, thus far this year, is not becoming what I mean it to be. It is NOT supposed to be a record of my apartment woes which in turn results in no artwork from me. I'm quite proud that I've kept up a weekly schedule here, but I'm tired of saying "sorry folks, nothing new this week, blame my slumlord and the ridiculously high rents in the Boston area, etc. etc."

So I'm off like a prom dress, until this situation is solved, and unless there's something I simply MUST show you, you won't see anything here until I move into a new place. Which had better be soon. Thanks to those who actually read this. Pray to whatever gods you know personally on my behalf, or tell me better ways to find an apartment, as my ways are not working.

:dreamspace:

I know it's out there, the perfect or near-perfect artist's studio for me. I just have to find it and also find a  way to pay for it.

:the mirror lies:

The apartment mess continues, it looks like June is the final month before they plan to impose the ridiculous rent increases. The tenant organization is still fighting, which is admirable, but as I've said, I've been trying to move out even before the slumlord took over. As long as I'm here I'll fight - I have no choice, really, I can't afford any increase - but if I find a place I am so OUT of here. As usual any hints or help are welcome/needed. My online searching is getting tiresome and frustrating. I think I may start packing soon even without having a place, just to get a jump on it and to let the Universe know I mean business.

Aaaaand the usual disclaimer applies, this mess does not lend itself to creativity, so I am wasting away in that respect. It's quite distressing. Some people may be able to what they do under any circumstance, but I am not that person. I am stronger than I used to be, but it's not enough.

I've given some thought to, no idea why, self-portraits. I am not my biggest fan; if people tag me on Facebook I untag the pictures instantly. I rarely if ever see a flattering picture of me, or I guess more accurately, one that matches my self-image. I do not like what my hair is currently like, yet I am not the type to suddenly get a new style. Haircuts are traumatic in general for me. At one point I was only getting one a year.

Who knows, doing this sort of project may get me over such thinking. Something else to add to The List after I get a new place to live.

:walking wounded:

The apartment mess continues to affect me, with time running out adding to the panic factor. I don't doubt that this stress is taking its toll on me physically, I'll spare you the details. One good thing in the midst of this, was the annual Zombie March, which is always a great opportunity for me to take interesting photos, and work with the new camera some more.



Lots more pictures here. I keep saying that some year I'll join the horde as a zombie but thus far prefer to just document it.

Apparently Neil Gaiman recently addressed the graduates of the University of the Arts. It's pretty inspirational, I need to revisit it from time to time if it remains online. I like the simplicity of "just make great art" no matter what is going on. I wish I could stick to that better, as is all too well-documented on here. A better base of operations is what I need, what I've needed for a LONG time.

:sick and tired:

I got nothing this week. Between feeling out of sorts physically today, and mentally over the whole apartment mess, it's not really conducive to my creativity.

I really want this blog to be about my creative path, but until this mess gets sorted out, it keeps getting barricaded. Why is it so difficult for me to find a good, no, GREAT place to live and work in??

:roll on:

Most of my life is currently spent dealing with apartment shite, namely looking for a new one and dealing with the continuous mess that this current one is, as detailed in last week's post. A letter was drafted and signed and sent to the slumlord, we'll see if that accomplishes anything. In any case I don't want to remain here. Needless to say this has not helped my creativity any.

Got to work with my new camera some more, at a local roller derby meet. The so-called "sports" setting on it was useless, so I tried many different ones instead of it. Tried really hard to not get anything but blurs and to avoid using flash, which never produced any flattering light.

:barricaded:

It often seems that just when I can see a clearer path ahead of me and I'm all set to go forward, something gets thrown in that path and forces me to abandon it and focus on something I'd rather not waste the time on. Once again this involves my living situation.

It appears that the building owners sold it and other local buildings to another company. We found out not from them, but through a letter shoved under our doors last Friday night informing us of this change, and of a ridiculously high increase in rent with very little time to move out if it's not accepted. Actually I didn't receive the latter, but I sincerely doubt that I'd escape an increase. Most people got a $200 monthly increase at the least. If you saw these apartments you'd agree they're not worth $900 or more. But the new management and the "market" says they are. Complete bullshit. So people have have had meetings and are united to fight this. I am still striving to get out of here, but as long as I'm stuck here, I'm fighting it. It's not like I can afford the increase. If I could I wouldn't still be living here!

Judging from the Yelp! reviews, they do not have a great reputation.

But needless to say this has gotten in the way of any creativity. It's difficult to focus when you are wondering about where you're going to live. SO tired of this.

At the very least I can offer you some more spaniel abuse. I wouldn't doubt that I'm taking out my aggressions on the poor little bastards.

:comic book heroes:

This past weekend was the Boston Comic Con, I don't normally frequent such events but a friend got me a ticket, so there you go. I was mainly going to see some of the artists that would be appearing and signing there, including several that influenced me and my art.

One is Michael Golden, who is still active, but I knew him first through the "Micronauts" comic, based on the toys of the same name (yes I had them too), but better written than something you'd think was made just to sell more toys. And the artwork too, which is my point. A lot of my own artwork of the time shamelessly copied his, but I was a young teen, so I'm allowed. Right? I told him at the Con that things like his drawings of explosions and pools of blood caught my eye. Well, whatever works!

Bill Sienkiewicz was there as well, I cannot express how much his artwork blew me away back then, until Dave McKean came along and then my brain exploded. Metaphorically, that is. He started out doing comics in the traditional way but evolved more and more until it was more like illustration. It must've been hell for deadlines and printing, but worth it in the end I'd say. See "Elektra: Assassin" and "Stray Toasters" and tell me I'm wrong.

Other than that and a few other artists, I didn't find much else for me at the Con, it wasn't a huge space like I'm sure the legendary one in San Diego is, and I truthfully don't buy many comics these days, maybe collections from time to time, and I'm trying to find new manga series to follow. I never was big on superheroes, it was always sci-fi or fantasy oriented, it seemed. although Batman got in there a few times.

Like is standard at most cons these days, there was a fair share of costumed folk there. Your expected Batmen, Jokers and now Harley Quinns. Catwomen of varying success. Several Tony Starks. Not Iron Man, Tony Stark. You need the right facial hair to pull that one off. And of course the 501st Legion was there. But sometimes the simplest costumes are the most successful.

:drawn to scale:

I hunkered down and worked on the new sponge logo, I think I've finished it. I was torn between the two versions below, I was kind of shooting for an official-looking sort of seal, but asking around for outside opinions confirmed my instinct that the wreath was a bit too much. Sometimes when I get too many ideas I try to fit in all of them.

I also did further work towards the Medusa piece. I'm hinging a lot on her facial expression, so, I'm getting closer to that.

Also! This past week I FINALLY got a DSLR digital camera (Canon Rebel XTi), so once I learn all the buttons and knobs I'll be shooting with more control over the images, moreso than with a point-n-shoot anyways. I'm still going to use that - lugging around this larger camera is not always convenient, and of course now I'm afraid of it being stolen. But the possibilities abound. I took a few pics this past Monday, up on my flickr page, but nothing spectacular, just used the automatic modes for those until I learn more.

:research:

Wish I had done more this week, but some mental issues got in the way for a bit. I say it too much, but atmosphere is all, and I need a better place to create in. Still looking. Trying not to despair.

That said, I did a bit more towards the Medusa drawing I started last week. The internet is actual good for something, as I use it a lot now to look for references. I used to feel bad or guilty about it, but I've seen writings by artists I admire who do this same thing so I don't feel bad anymore. I like to get as much as possible from my own mind and vision, but I also want to make sure I get the facial expression I'm looking for, and also to make sure the snakes look right and not like a pile of spaghetti on her head.

:snake charmer:

For some reason I've had Medusa on the mind, and have been toying with artwork of her. Depending on which account you read, she was either born that way as one of the three Gorgons, or she was turned that way by a jealous Athena (which makes one wonder, why were the Greek gods so insecure? Always turning humans into something else on a whim and then there's Zeus, horndogging it after almost anything in a short toga).

So I had it in my mind, what would her reaction be when the change happened? Quite a bit of shock, I'd say. This is only a rough idea of that. Let's see where this goes.

:branded:

One thing holding up my website redesign, other than lack of coding skills (though I have Dreamweaver now) and indecision about the design in general, and, yep, lack of time, is the desire to redesign my logo for it. I've been told by some that this is not reason enough for delay, but logo = identity, so I want to get it right, though of course I can change it next year if I want. Given my current rate of change, that's not likely.

the current logo

It's still going to involve a frog skeleton (why? the original design had a cute frog, I don't really do "cute" anymore), now I just need to find which of the 872 typefaces I have on my computer to use with it. It's also going to be a watermark for online images, so more reason to choose wisely. I'm still clinging to the hope that watermarks prevent online theft of images.

Thankfully I found a quick way to look through them all. There was a time when I was grabbing as many free fonts as I could, back when I was doing fliers for Ceremony. Thankfully I learned quickly to limit the number of fonts on one flier, I can spot somebody's first attempt at a flier by that reason. Remember those giant rave fliers from the 90s? You could hallucinate just by looking at them.

I also found that the longer you look at one word - in this case, "sponge" - the more unreal it becomes, like the letters are not in the right order. Stare at the word "the" for any great length of time, see what I mean.

:station break:

Recovering from last week's sickness which seems to have become this week's allergies. I had horrible ones for about 20 years, then they just went away, now I seem to be bad for the start of spring, let's hope it stays that way.

This blog seems to be becoming more and more about how my creativity is stagnant, and yes a lot of that still has to do with atmosphere; still can't find a new apartment that's suitable. When I come home I don't feel like jumping into something creative, and I'd like to regain that.

So as not to leave this post empty, here's my current outposts on the web:

main site: redesign coming this year, I swear.

deviantArt

flickr

JPG

Behance

FineArtAmerica - not sure if I'm going to continue this, I see what kind of art sells on here, and it's not my style, to be sure. I get plenty of pageviews, but pageviews don't pay my bills.

Twitter - I joined to research it for some outside work, I don't see the point of it yet.

Model Mayhem - even though I haven't done a photoshoot since 2008 :-/

I'll be making a Facebook page soon, too.

And just a sketchbook doodle so this post isn't just words. Yep, more spaniel abuse.

:in sickness and in health:

I went to another figure drawing session last night, but had to leave early, as the sore throat I had woken up with was turning into something worse. I had a most uncomfortable night trying to sleep but I think the worst of it has past. It figures that I survive the Winter without getting sick but on the first amazing Spring-like day, it happens. Thankfully I still seem to have the "talent" of only being sick for a day, so at least I have that going for me.

Again I can't help but notice the studio of our host, and wonder how I can get one myself. His is not a live-in studio, although like most artists I'm sure I'd spend more time in the studio than at home, which is one reason why I'd prefer a live-in one, the other being I can't afford both an apartment AND a studio, and I don't know why they think many artists can. Certainly not in the Boston area. They give a lot of lip service to supporting the arts here, but not really supporting the artist. I'm not looking for a handout here, but don't go calling condos for sale and not for rent "affordable," and don't go renting them to non-artists when you denote them as such. Don't drive out artists from their studios by "developing" the area that they had discovered first. Fort Point is still a ghost town now, a shadow of its former self. Oh, it's SUCH an improvement there now.

I don't know. It's beginning to look like I'll have to find some abandoned place and squat there, although I'd prefer a place with niceties like heat and running water, too. Electricity, too.

:publish or perish:

A day later than I usually post, had other things that took priority and I also wanted to confirm this news before I posted it. Artwork of mine is going to grace the cover of the 20th anniversary anthology of Circlet Press! I'd put a link to them here but for some reason every browser is warning me of malware attack if I go there, so I hope they've not been hacked. Get thee to wikipedia instead.

It's this piece:

Which I find interesting, as this is not a new work of mine, in fact it's one of the first ones I ever made with the aid of Photoshop back in the 90s, but as we can see it's still a favorite, so I'm not complaining. I basically said "go my website and tell me what you like" to them.

I miss doing photoshoots. I really need a new place if only for that reason (I want to do more indoor shots). I'm also slowly saving up for a "real" camera, a digital SLR that is.

:dogged:

Most of the past week was too busy with work and after work stuff for much new art to show, again something I'd like to change. I'd love to be able to come home and unwind by drawing or something along those lines, but, again, not in this place. Changes that I'm setting in motion will hopefully change all that this year.

A lot of "behind the scenes" work this week mostly, like ideas for the website update. I'm told this shouldn't be a main reason for the holdup, but I want to redesign my logo, which will also become my watermark to put on online images, and although I think at this point that there's precious little one can do to prevent people from grabbing images, at least I can make them lo-res or with a large enough watermark to cover important bits of the image. People have complained about this in the past, but I still would like people to actually pay for the art if they like it enough.

On that note, I noticed on a recent visit to my deviantArt page that many of my older works had the "download image" option selected, which I didn't do. So people have been getting free artwork for who knows how long. A part of me is flattered that they liked my art enough to do so, but also insulted that it apparently wasn't worth paying for. A major problem in this internet age, people want it all for free, music art and information. If the creator allows it, fine. I'm probably the last DJ who pays for music, although I recently did a major search for a track I wanted and there was no legal way to get it. My first online crime.

I still doodle while at work and it's still mostly of horrible things being done to the spaniels (example below).

Some of it is just blowing off steam, I guess, but part of me still feels that there's a story there somewhere. I've also been bingeing on Philip K Dick stories, which can really alter one's view of reality. One idea is of a virus, and why should it be something microscopic? I've certainly seen the comparison of the human race's treatment of this planet to that. But why not another organism, one less intelligent? The spaniels really don't think of much beyond eating and breeding, and they do both things rapidly. What if something like that was actually threatening human existence, as unlikely as it seems? What lengths would people go to to eliminate it? You'd think nothing of wiping out rats doing the same thing. Ponder ponder.

:skin and shadow:

I made a long overdue return to figure drawing this week, something I want to do at least once a month. There's no shortage of such sessions in the area if you know where to look. I was amused to find that the place it was held in was in a building that I pass every day on the way to work and often thought, "they should put artists' studios in there."

I prefer the longer poses so that I can get more detail in, but the shorter ones are necessary to warm up, for both the model and the artists. Actually the original model cancelled at the last minute, so one of the artists stepped in, but I'm guessing this wasn't her first time doing so.

Once again I fail to note the passage of time while drawing, which is a sensation all too lacking during, say, the day job. Thankfully somebody keeps track of it, 5 minutes pass before you know it and I know I couldn't hold some of these poses for very long either.

I of course also take note of the studio we're in and dream of having a similar setup myself, someday, soon.

           

:heart on:

Where does the time go? Nothing much to report, been busy with other things that will hopefully lead to better things. How's that for vague? Most of my doodling has been more spaniel abuse, and I think I'll spare you that this time. Like I said once, part of the theme there is "what awful thing can I do to them next?" And they're getting pretty awful.

So as not to make this post barren, here's a pic for yesterday's "holiday." I made cards of these this year, for sale in Salem. Hope to find out soon if they sold at all.

:insert coin:

For the past week I've been pondering new employment, as there are changes ahead where I work that I don't think I'll be cool with. They aren't happening immediately, thankfully. I've often said about this job that I wasn't planning to stay there forever, but I can't wait for the perfect moment to leave, so I'm starting my search.

Unfortunately the best I've done so far as describing what I think my "dream job" is is one that's "creative," so I need to get more specific than that. I know from others who've been there that an ad agency is not for me. I've considered video games, so I'm seeking more information about that. What I already know is that there's computer programs that I need to learn, in particular 3D ones.

I used to play them a LOT when I was younger, and here's where I date myself, I'm of the Atari generation and the coin-op arcades. The most recent platform I have is the Nintendo DS, and I hardly use that lately. My computer is a Mac, so insert joke about the lack of games for it, though it isn't as bad as it used to be. I need to find a controller for it, some games are near impossible with a mouse and keyboard. I haven't finished "Portal" yet because of this, even though I know what I need to do.

The last games I was really into were the "Doom" and "Quake" series, although after completing them, I found that I spent more time exploring the castles and dungeons, and downloaded as many maps as I could find. Unfortunately they don't work with the current OS, or at least I haven't figured out how to convert them. I'd be the wrong person to to play Tour of Duty with, I'd probably be distracted by some interesting architecture.

I tend to like unique and out of the ordinary games, which is one reason why I got the DS. What I've seen and read about one called "Shadow of the Colossus" almost makes me want to get a Playstation just to try it. And to try and think up something similar on my own.

Oh yeah, Valentine's Day next week. Here's a Gorey Valentine for you.

:lions and dragons:

Something I've doing since I finally got weekends off from work (no such thing in retail) is attending the Lunar New Year celebrations in Chinatown. The lions (I used to call them dragons, oops) are so vividly colored and I tend to overlook that's there's people inside and treat it like photographing on safari. I wanted to attempt to visit another city's Chinatown this year, but I couldn't find an exact date for NYC's celebration, so, here we are in Boston again.

One goal for this year is to get a "real" digital camera, but I think I do pretty good with my little point and shoot.



Lots more pics on my flickr page.

:boneless:

A bad week mentally and physically. I hope this will not be a trend for 2012. Have another jellyfishy.

:darkness:

Wish I could say I was posting nothing today as a way of participating in the Internet Blackout, but no, another bad week. I did blackout a few pics on my flickr page. Here's some jellyfishy that I didn't.

:home is in your head:

I was prepared tonight to go on about how I wasn't very creative in the past week, and so far not meeting my goal of at least sketching every day. It has to do, as it often does, with my living situation and some anxiety kept me from creating. I still need to find a new place, and I must do it this year. Any leads on quiet apartments or artist studios are welcome as ever.

But this evening something came to mind and I scribbled it down, and who knows, it could become something more by the end of the month.

And yes, more spaniel abuse.

:annus novus:

New year, new hopes, the largest one of all is to not have them crushed. I start out as ambitious as ever, but the amount of plans I have versus time and resources gets overwhelming at times. So it's best to start small. I have been dismayed at my lack of creative output over the past few years, some of it due to outside issues, but ultimately it's my fault. So I'm going to attempt to sketch at least a page a day in my sketchbook, and try to make one major piece a month. If I end the year with twelve new works, that'll be better than the past few years combined, sad to say.

A lot of it depends on my environment, of course, so the search goes on, but I have to learn to be creative in spite of it.

It starts out with the blank page/screen but something comes out eventually. As ever I don't know if it will evolve beyond this into something bigger.

Oh yeah, I'm still doing horrible things to the spaniels, thanks for asking.