:look at me:

I did some slogging through the website re-planning, and as somewhat expected I became easily overwhelmed by the amount of choices out there. Inquiries sent out into the internet ether brought back vague answers or replies, of the few that bothered to reply at all. I am starting to think that the notion of technologies like "instant" messaging are becoming more and more of a misnomer these days, or perhaps it's just lucky me. I just find it difficult to believe that anyone is really that busy to not be able to send back a quick reply, even just to say that they'll say more later or that they got the message.

In the end again, I have to rely on myself, not a bad thing in itself, but it'd be nice to get some assistance when I need it for a change. I mean before I have to resort to spending money that I really can't spare. I'd like to have an actual network that I can rely on some day.

That said, I'm leaning towards some sort of template, maybe one through Folio websites. If anyone has any experience with them, positive or negative, I'd love to hear it. This blog is set up to allow comments, after all.

I also need to decide what artwork is going to go on the site. The last version had artwork of mine on it from well into the early 90s, it was like a retrospective up to this current point in time. I think I may just choose work from the past ten years, even though there was an awful dry spell in the middle of it. I also need to re-photograph the Homunculi dolls if they're to reappear on it. I'm also overdue for making a new one.

The whole notion of creating artwork and what becomes of it afterward has been on my mind recently. Certainly I create it for my own enjoyment, and then want to share it, but when it gets little to no attention, I still feel a little let down. Not that anybody is obligated to sing its praises, or that I assume it should, but if I'm proud of it, I get frustrated if all I hear are crickets. Once again I'm trying to find the right eyeballs, and this site redesign is part of that.

:code:

As stated last week, I've decided that a primary focus right now is to update my woefully outdated main website. I can't recall when the last update was, but it's definitely been more than ten years. And Google Analytics have not-so-subtly told me that it is definitely not smartphone-friendly right now, so the writing is on the wall.

Coding is not my forte to say the least. I made the previous two versions by cutting and pasting HTML code from site designs that I liked and learned a thing or two about updating them from there, but not enough to be able to make one from scratch. I've made a placeholder for now, but even that took the better part of an evening, and it's still not exactly as I'd like it. I wanted the image to stay in the center of the page. If anybody knows how to fix this, please let me know, even though this is a temporary page.

Part of the problem, with this and other things in my life, is that I'm a collector of information, but soon it piles up and I often don't get to read most of it. My to-read pile of books is crazy, yet I still get drawn into bookstores. I've saved plenty of info about websites, now it's time to sort through it. I'd like to get this done by month's end if possible. I am thinking that I'll probably try and choose a Wordpress design and go from there.

:pencil trails:

So my desktop computer has been returned to me and all is well, so far. I got it upgraded to at least OS X Mountain Lion, as I'm not sure I like what I've seen about Mavericks or especially Yosemite. From what I've been reading and seeing about the latter, it appears to be the Apple equivalent to Vista. No thanks. And iTunes 12 looks like a disaster too, so I'm going to hold onto 11 for as long as I can.

It already seems much speedier, I guess my hard drive was on its way out after all and it wasn't just Chrome that sucked. Good thing I did this before it actually died.

I finished the drawing I was working on last week, but of course had nothing to scan it into. Actually looking at the scans below, a better scanner might be in my future too. A lot of the subtleties of pencil aren't translated too well.

One of my favorite things to draw is hair, so obviously longer styles are a preference to me, it flows like water on the paper from the pencil point.

I copied this as is from a photograph, without adding any distortions or interpretations of my own. Just seeing if I still have the skill at this point. So more credit goes to the original photographer. As I said before, this is one of the infamous Suicide Girls, this one goes by the moniker Idunn. I'm unsure if you'll be able to view much of her page if you're not a member. And also as I've said before, I wouldn't mind a photoshoot with her either.

I consider copying a photograph more of a skill than a talent, so other than using it to keep in practice, it doesn't impress me much personally, but I'm flattered of course if people like the end results. I'll need to get back into adding more of a personal touch or altering parts when I use photos as source material again.

Looking ahead to April, one thing I really must do, and it's long past overdue, is to overhaul my main website. It's not even remotely smartphone-friendly, and that's essential these days. I just get immobilized by too many choices, like many things in life, so I just need to narrow it down and choose something. I really just want a functional online gallery at this point.

:please stand by:

My desktop computer's in a shop for some much-needed upgrades, so this'll be the first week in a long time without a real entry. I believe I'm done with the pencil drawing I started last week, too, so you'll just have to wait until next week to see it. See you here?

:faded traces:

Winter is limping along to hopefully a quick end, with the calendar proclaiming spring right around the corner. With it ends my choice of working only in black & white for the duration (not counting Chinese New Year). It was an interesting experiment, although I'm not sure if it did much "good." The world is pretty black and white this time of year anyway, and we saw waaaaay too much white. It actually made me not want to photograph it.

I hope I can find something really colorful to signify the change. I was trying to find some Indian Holi celebration for that, but I wasn't able to find any public festivals in the area, at least not through a decent internet search. Perhaps it's not meant for "outsiders."

I'm also taking a Facebook detox, at least until the end of the month. I'm really focusing on how I spend my time, and what I want/need to do, and while I don't think I spend an enormous amount of time on there, it's still time better spent doing other things. It's sad that it's become the main form of contact between people today. Others lament it along with me, yet they don't answer my invites to hang out in real space. We'll see if my absence is noticed. Probably not.

And I'm also just trying to follow the maxim of "you're an artist, so make ART." Just started a pencil drawing, mainly to see if I still can do it. I didn't honestly think that I can't, but it's best to keep in practice nonetheless. I'm copying a photo of a Suicide Girl, one I wouldn't mind photographing as well. Don't judge. I'll probably link to her page once this is done so you can compare.

Forgive the crappy camera shot, hopefully my scanner will show it more faithfully when it's finished. I'm treating it as I do most pencil drawings now, working in layers, first with softer H pencils, then darker B pencils. So this is still pretty pale at the start.  

Two days in I noticed that the hand was a bit off, so I had to erase and redraw it. Glad I caught that now and not later. Another reason to love digital, true, but that's not the point with this one.

Lucky for me Blogger has rescinded its recent "adult content policy" decision, or maybe this wouldn't be allowed. The internet's fear of nipples goes on.

:doldrums:

Even though I spent the majority of the weekend scouring thrift and consignment shops for props for an upcoming photoshoot (for starters I'm looking for an "interesting" chair), I am disappointed that I have nothing really to show, other than a few shots of winter's continuing grasp on us, even with today being a scorching 50 degrees.

Maybe this foreverwinter is affecting me, but I'm dismayed at my lack of productivity this year so far. The ideas are there, I can see them in my head, and there are plenty of sketchbooks full, but something is not getting my arse in gear and producing. Lists of what to do don't help, though I continue to make them. Little notes of inspiring or intimidating quote soon become part of the background.

Too many distractions? Perhaps. No, definitely. I've always been a voracious reader (bought way too many books at the afore-mentioned thrift shops), so I don't see that as a bad distraction. The internet, definitely, even when I start out with a worthy goal in mind, soon you're tumbling down various rabbit holes. Attempts to quit cold turkey usually fail. I've cut back a lot on several culprits, but this is a part of our lives now. How much of it we let take prominence is the tricky part. I see many not giving up any resistance and swear not to be the same, but sometimes it seems like I just want to get over-stimulated with images, sound and information.

I've been contemplating, trying to figure out where it changed for me. My younger days, so much of my life was spent in creating. And it was just the joy of making it, or following the urge that I still can't describe except when it's denied me. Part of it now I think is "reward" and recognition. Sure I liked when my artwork got attention and praise, even more if somebody wanted to buy it, but when did that become the more important thing? It has no worth unless it gets "likes" on Facebork or it sells? Yes, I like all these things, but it shouldn't be the only thing.

Somehow, I need to get back to just the joy of creation. Which is partially why I started writing this blog. I think I get too impatient for the finished result, which is probably why I lean more towards photography now. I think, as I stated recently, that I need to return to more traditional media, like pencils or paint. We'll see what I come up with by next week.

:presence:

The winter continues its death grip on us. And, in its own way, on me in some aspects. Nothing for show and tell this week, partly because an attempt to venture out in the Boston area for supplies and such this past weekend failed miserably. The shoddily plowed streets and parking lots and people's sudden amnesia as to how to move in traffic in the winter defied all the errands that I had in mind. This crap can't melt fast enough for my liking.

So I guess I'll do one of these updates of where I'm scattered and squatting on the web. I've actually been wondering lately if less would be better, plus there's also so many more places online to showcase one's work, I wonder if we've reached a saturation point. Then I would read that perennial story about somebody who put up the equivalent of a one-page website, got "discovered," and is somehow a millionaire artist now. So I'm still wondering how to get the attention of the right eyeballs.

Case in point, got an email today from one site I'm on, barely, called SeeMe, saying they'd like to promote my work...if I upgrade to a "Pro" account, of course. I'm not saying they shouldn't make money through their websites, it just seems that there's many who prey on creative people with the promise of success. Cashing in on your dreams.

Well, that said, other places you can find me and my artwork:

DeviantArt - Been on here about ten years now. Artwork available as prints and other ephemera.

Instagram - It's been well-documented on here how quickly I got hooked on this.

Flickr - "normal" photos.

JPG - Best of the "normal" photos

Model Mayhem - photography involving models, which you might guess from the name.

Etsy - right now just postcards available, but I'm going to put more original artwork on there. I'd like to try and sell my dolls through it, but I can't imagine them getting through the mail safely.

MixCloud - I just joined, so there's only one mix up there right now.

Fine Art America - Another print site, that I have yet to figure out how to make work. They regularly show what has sold, and sadly it seems to be mostly "normal" stuff, or worse, paintings and such that are clearly copies of somebody else's photography.

There's a place for me somewhere, I'm sure of it.