:the tyranny of time:

I didn't post on Wednesday as per usual because of the issue I'm going to go into now; the lack of (free) time.

I recently unearthed some old journal entries of mine, from the early 90s. I started writing pretty regularly in 1992. It's clear from what I wrote then that I was mostly angry and frustrated, partially from the atmosphere that I felt trapped in, but also because of the lack of time to do what I really wanted, namely create art. That much hasn't changed, even if the world now has a lot more distractions. I only "discovered" the internet around 1993 or so, and that required a dial-up modem. Be glad if you've never had to depend on that method. But even then I could see the pull of it.

I voiced a lot of the struggle to create the artwork, get it seen or sold, or to actually find a job that utilized my actual talents. I've lost track of how many places that I applied to! Possibly why I don't try as hard now, although job searching is an entirely different world now too.

That said, the main purpose should be just be to create the damn artwork, not looking ahead to where it might end up. One unofficial resolution for this year was to produce more, and in that I've technically faltered so far, but what I seem to be doing is little parts of separate projects, and I'm not sure if that's the best method.

My attempts to sell Valentine-themed artwork through Etsy didn't succeed, so I need to further tweak that. The next idea is to further push my Instagram photos. I keep ordering small prints and buying small frames for them.

Progress on the new Homunculus doll has stalled. Trying to decide on what else to do with the face for now. Drastic eye makeup, and maybe an extra eye or two. And even so I spot other dolls and buy and add them to the pile of future ones.

Which is a theme in other creative avenues too. I find or buy things that I think I'll use some day in something. Found some interesting papers that can either be backgrounds or drawn/painted on themselves.

The bones keep piling up.

Haven't done a photoshoot since last spring!! But truthfully I was working on final shots from them for a good portion of this time. And I find things for future shoots, like hanging lights, and surely I can get someone to wear a cat mask or wield a samurai sword.

But the need to reschedule my life so that things get done is still there. Outside distractions are okay as long as they don't sidetrack me too far. I have to literally keep myself out of bookstores, my to-read pile is ridiculous, and am in dire need of another bookcase or two.