:just dood it:

As I continue to crawl out from my creative doldrums, I ponder how I got there in the first place (aside from bad jobs, roommates and neighbors distracting me from the creative process). Of course I didn't need to force myself to create when I was younger, and not even when I moved to Boston, though that was when it started to get more difficult to find enough time to do it in. I think it somehow centers around whenever I started caring more about "fame and fortune" than the act of creativity itself. And since I've only gotten small amounts of either, maybe I started to believe what I create was worthless, if people don't "want" it. Well, this has to stop.

I still need to find a better place to create in, but I can't just stop what I should be doing until that happens. I'm unfortunately wearing headphones pretty much the whole time I am home now, but better to hear music I like than slamming doors or screaming grandchildren.

I've been reading a book called "Living the Creative Life" that's helping to inspire me. A lot of it is obvious stuff, and a lot of the artists interviewed seem to do folksy craftsy stuff (nothing wrong with that but I can't relate - I know my subject matter tends not to be mainstream), but the process is often the same. And one of the more important things is to Just DO Something, even if there's no project or Big Idea. One way I'm trying to do this is by drawing in my sketchbook more, to fill a page a day. Even though they are generally for my eyes only, I tend to obsess a bit too much on what should be rough ideas and drawings. Just DRAW.

I also have books and tutorials to get through, on the many programs I should know by now, and better knowledge of my cameras. I sometimes get camera envy, seeing yokels with a big digital SLR around their necks, taking pictures of nothing, but I know it's not the camera, it's the photographer. I know I've gotten some damn good shots with my little point and shoot. I'd just like a bit more "power," I guess. And it'd be tough to be taken seriously with a little camera whenever I get back to doing photoshoots.

Back at it.

:forward into the past 14:

...then came The Computer.

When I was in art school, They couldn't afford Macs, so they used...Amigas. Which would've been great if I was going to look for work in Europe at the time. Alas, it didn't do me much good job-wise in the States. Still trying to catch up, due to the expense of Adobe programs, which are pretty much required for any creative jobs. I'm just starting on CS3...CS5 is due out any day now. Sigh.

That said, I definitely found all the new things I could do fascinating. Can't believe my hand survived drawing with the mouse, and only now am I attempting to convert to a drawing tablet.

My work from here on is pretty much on my main website, but I shall continue to dig for older work...providing they aren't too embarrassing to show.